Friday, April 10, 2009

And you say you don’t have any “Friends”. Wow!

A message of hope for the young adults
Recently, I hosted a “Girls Night Out”, with some of my closest friends. We range in age from 30 to 50. We have different levels of education and varying job titles. We also vary in our marital statuses . In this group, there is a mother of 4, as well as a mother of none. Some I’ve known for 20+ years and others less than 2. We are all on a spiritual journey, but not all at the same place on this journey. Each of them hold a special place in my life and they are women that I love, trust and depend on.
For young women who think that people are only in your life because “they want something”, they’re right. Everybody wants something, but their perspective of what someone wants may be distorted. One friend offers me a reality check. Another a shoulder to cry on. Another offers a laugh just when I need it and another an uplifting word, and yes, I want all of these things. Each of them offers me something that I need and I’m more than certain I offer them something in return. I learned a long time ago, that in order to have a friend, you must be a friend. You can’t expect that someone will be a firend to you without reciprocating that action.
Have we failed the next generation of women? I hope not. Are their challenges different than the generation before them, not really, but perception is reality. They peceive that they do not have true friends, and that is true for them. What can we do to help mentor these women? How can we show them that the women they don’t trust, can be a great asset.
First, we have to acknowledge that this is what they feel. Pulling the sheets up to our necks won’t cover up what they are experiencing. We may not understand it, but be open to listening. Next, we need to address why they feel this way. Some of us have not experienced whatever it is that placed them on this path. Then, teach them that in order to pick a gem, they have to ensure that their jewelry is shining. Again, you can’t expect to have a friend, if you’re not willig to be one. Finally, teach them to LOVE themselves. Self-preservation is the first law of nature. When you learn to love yourself, the journey to loving someone else doensn’t seem so far.
This is not a one size fits all, but I feel we need to start somewhere or our next generation could trully be lost to the world.
To All my Friends, Thank you in advance for whatever it is you have to offer. May sun always grace your presence.


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