Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Donta, & Joe,

Donta says:

I think in most cases, black women who down black men on a regular basis are not happy with themselves. What I mean by that is, they blame men for the bad decisions they've made concerning men. Once women realize what they have between their legs, they try to use it to their advantage, then they get mad when men don't respond the way they want them too. And as far as Obama, Black women will almost never support another Sister when it seems like she is happy with her Black man, Or the decisions she's made concerning her man (good decision's in Obama's wife's case). Black women are mad at themselves because they didn't choose to find a good man for themselves, or they just are not satisfied with their black man . As if most women can be satisfied with anything anyways. Just my thought's

Josiah says:

Everyone agrees (including me) that many Black men need to be more responsible and make better choices, but you'll usually get an argument if you say that Black women need some changes too - particularly in terms of attitude. Few Black women that I have met can see how their own behavior negatively impacts relationships - they focus chiefly on what men do or don't do, and see men as the singular source of problems in Black relationships. There are many things that are beyond our individual control (economic, historical, political), but there are also a lot of things that we can control. I think we need to control our disposition, attitude, and take advantage of our educational opportunities. We can also decide to treat one another with respect.

I think we (Black men and women) need to set new criteria for relationships. My mentor used to say that 'value producing people ought to marry one another'. I hear so many stories about attractive, intelligent, gainfully employed Black women dating and getting into relationships with thugs, etc. In many cases I beleive they have overlooked decet guys and chosen to be with street guys. I have gone to conferences and even met professional Black women who were toatlly unapproachable. Many were totally arrogant; and some of those who would allow themselves to be approached would talk to me as if I was at an interview or inquisition. Then some of the same women would give me a dirty look if I had a drink with a woman of another race.

1 comment:

Talent Diva said...

I know I'm a little late in responding to this post. But I felt the need to agree with Patrice. Some of us (Black Women) hate to be seen as having any kind of flaws. There is rarely a middle ground these days. You have sisters with attitudes and hood mentalities feeling like everyone owes them something. And you have professional sisters such as the ones you describe in your post. We need to find a middle ground. That's not to say there aren't women in the "middle" (like me). I think it is our responsibility to give back and reach back to help one another when we make it. Some professional sisters really shouldn't let paranoia keep them from helping the next woman out. And for my sisters with the hood mentality, look around you. Strive to do better and be better. Educating yourself and conducting yourself in a professional manner is not selling out or making you less for your community.

Let's find a common ground ladies. Let's start working together instead of against one another.

Adrienne Graham
"An Empowered Black Woman"
Empower Me! Corp.

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