Wednesday, December 26, 2007


Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this.....

Very interesting, read until the end.....
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man soweth,
that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women
who mocked God :

Lennon (Singer):

Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

'Christianity will end, it will disappear.
I do not have to argue about
that. I am certain.

Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him' (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President ofBrazil ):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died ..

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):

During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),

while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: 'God, that's for you.'

He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic

After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.

With an ironic tone he said:
'Not even God can sink it'

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)

She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
'I don't need your Jesus'.

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment .

Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.

On the 19th of February 1980 , Bon Scott was
found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:

'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You..'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full '

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died,
the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.

The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken .

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.

In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle .

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive .


P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said

'If you are embarrassed about me,

I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!

I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'

Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you .


My name is Joe not to be confused with Jo. I am the worst of the 3 (Steve, Jo, and Joe). I am not going anywhere because I am married and settled in right here. I can attest both are highly educated (both formal and real world practical skills) neither has kids, both raised by both loving parents, both take care a family, home and their own business and both have shown love for other men's children in a relationship that is the calling of only a real man can answer. Neither are or have been married, both highly independent, all around good guys. I wrote the original email that you responded to not them, I didn't know it was going to end up on a public forum but I stand by what I write and what they have been saying. But since you want to question people let me try to give you an answer about me and my values.
I had a child before marriage, dropped out of college, didn't work for awhile, lived at home and was shiftless for a few years all before I was 23 years old and the only problem I had with women is trying to limit who many were trying to be with me (or get pregnant). That was my past not let me me catch you up to the present.
I bought my first house at 25, started a business at 26, worked for the city in 3 different jobs one for 14 years, one 10 years and one for 5 years (and one union trade job), I still work all 4 jobs! I live in a strong middle class integrated part of town (Beverly Hills) I just sold a 4 unit apartment building that I bought and rehabbed using my OWN money (didn't have to ask the Man for any), that I rented at below market rate rents (ie affordable). I still own and rent another property that I bought that was distressed (lived in it for 5 yrs) I rehabbed that also and now turned an eye sore into one of the premier properties on the block that I rent out to a not for profit counseling agency that uses it as it local office that deals with women in domestic violence issues. I charge them below market rate rent also and donate goods to their agency. I have custody of my first child that I had to fight for 7 years and now he is in a college prep charter high school (they said he could only read on a 2nd grade level when I got him) am married for the second time and have a 15 month baby and a step child. I am now on ownership of my 3rd boat (buy and sell those also) and just sold my airplane (did I mention I am back in college with a 3.9 gpa for Aviation Flight Mgmt) that I bought to avoid renting one to train to become a professional pilot. I have tutored children, volunteered in local civic events, and worked political campaigns. I also mentor young (sometimes older) adults in 2 of my jobs and was about to start a local mentoring group at a inner city high school at the urging of the principal but my time hasn't allowed me to start yet. I started informally with the young men who lack father figures but more of the young WOMEN came to me with their problems because they couldn't find anyone (fathers or mothers/grandmothers) who would listen and give sound advice or solutions. I have maintain a 700+ credit score, AIDS/HIV free, never been arrested or have any down low tendencies that women complain about. I am 6'4" not disfigured and don't have any disabilities (can send pics if required). I am independent, can cook, clean, grocery shop and change diapers with the best of them. When I was not married or in a serious committed monogamous relationship I have a VERY HARD time keeping women's attention when I meet them because despite my accomplishments I am very humble and keep a very low profile and don't lie (dream seller). As Steve and Jo said most gravitated towards the negative attributes in the other men. I have met and dated women from public housing/subsidence to attorneys, corporate VP's (Ivy League MBA's) and despite their economic/educational differences their attitudes and actions towards men are similar if not the same. I am not just speaking of me dating for 20 years but the experiences of many many men who share their stories/experiences with me. Now I am not here to say its the black women's fault because in dating and choosing a mate its all about "Buyers Beware [choose very carefully]" but I am here to affirm what Jo and Steve says what is happening that some Sistas can't just imagine...there are just as many women (even accomplished ones) that are bad as men. It is difficult on both sides to choose a mate so when Sistas complain and lambast brothas I have something to tell them about their Sisteren also. If they feel they need to go somewhere else to find love and a lasting companionship so be it. Unless you are willing to try to fill the bill why do you care? If you feel you are all that why don't you give them a holla and see if you can change their minds :-)

P.S. Funny how you get on them (us) for downing black women and you do just that in your below response that I highlighted.

Joe.. Fe is responding..

Joe, I agree with you wholeheartedly. If she ALWAYS has an attitude, she has something else going on, and it's probably not healthy.

As a People, we struggle. We face adversity from every angle and sometimes "attitude" is simply a defense mechanism, not to harm anyone else, but simply to save ourselves.

This may not be the best analogy, but I'm going with it anyway. You know how when you bake a cake, you have to grease and flour the pan. Well, when the cake is done and you remove the cake from the pan there is a fine layer of the grease/flour mixture on the bottom of the cake and also left in the pan. Well that layer is what I call "residue". It's leftover from a step in the process that was necessary to make that awesome cake (If the baker is good, the cake is awesome :-)). Well, that residue represents the "Attitude" that some sisters display. But it's just that, residue! Unfortunately, we've yet to discuss, the mixture that built the residue, and because we can't get past the residue, we don't know what the cake taste like. It looks pretty, but the residue thick, and it takes time, patience and sometimes a gentle nudge to even realize that the residue can be removed. You can't use a jackhammer because it will destroy the cake, but a little wax on, wax off, and guess what, Progress.



Why does there always have to be an attitude? I have a sister and mother who don't always have an attitude (maybe that is why they are both still married). I think as a people going through the constant struggle that we experience as black people we will have a certain predisposition for a defense for the "BS" that comes along but having an always on, always on 10 attitude is unnecessary and keeps many people miserable because they will either be single, be single soon, or in a relationship with the only men who can deal with attitude...losers and no good momma boys or both.




I so appreciate each of you sharing your comments,thoughts, and observations. SB, the women are not attacking, but simply pointing out that what we allow to enter into our lives in terms of relationships, typically mirrors that of ourselves. It's my hope,that in all this, that each of you attempt to listen very closely. Make an effort to hear,listen and get understanding. That's so difficult to do bc each wants to get his/her point across. Let's really try to hear and understand...I am truly under the belief that both black men and women are definitely hurting. I'm hearing it.... Some of this stuff goes all the way back to slavery. Nevertheless, take this opportunity to hear and listen,seriously think of ways in which we can both stop the abuse towards one another the challenge for each of us, is to get understanding and find a solution. We also have not mentioned GOD... And just maybe that's our problem????????




Patrice, If you notice, no female has even addressed the reality of Sisters being difficult in relationships due to their attitudes. Why not? Many Black women have no intention of even mentioning it. It's OK to mention our faults but all hell breaks loose when Sisters faults are mentioned, even the slightest fault. How is that fair? We haven't attacked Sisters at all, but it's apparent many Sisters don't even want to hear that they have faults. Isn't that part of us being human? Why is it so hard for many Sisters to admit they can have attitude problems at times. It must be nice to be perfect, and blame the Brothers for everything.
As Josiah predicted, our logic would be met with anger, no reason, and emotional finger pointing. I felt it necessary to try to reach out, I should have listened to him.
We both had hoped to enlighten Sisters on behaviors that men don't comment on. Brothers don't comment on Sister's behavior to them because when we try to tell you about it, you refuse to listen. We get blamed for your attitudes, we are told to look within ourselves, our manhood is questioned, and then you start an argument. That same behavior can come from the ghetto girl, or the PHD. All of these things even happened to Josiah and I on your blog!
This behavior often results in men simply not wanting to come home. Some Brothers think of a reason, any reason, to delay as long as possible coming home after work. Who wants to come home and be greeted with some crazy unnecessary attitude? Those men not coming home also leads to them spending time with people that they think they can find solace in, and that's never a good thing.
I've explained why we view ourselves as good men, and why we have the opinions that we do. I applaud you Patrice for posting our comments on your great blog! You've inspired us to look into starting our own blog dealing with issues for other Brothers that have realized that a good Sister is truly hard to find. I am presently finishing up the introduction for our book. I'll invite you if we make the Oprah show!
Happy holidays to you and your family!




First, I apologize for not being caught up on this conversation of "us" versus "them".

Second, let's lay it all on the table. Brothers and Sister alike enter into relationships with much baggage. The real question is this; Is my potential mate there to help me lighten my load or simply add their bag to pile.

I'm a Sister that at 30+, have never been married, and based on the conversations going back and forth, I've apparently never really had a bad relationship. Let's face the fact, that Mr. Right, might just be Mr. Right now, and Ms. She So Fine, may simply be that, just Fine. Until we are willing to truly look at ourselves in the mirror, and perform our own internal Autopsy, our expectations of our potential mates will always fall short.

We realy need to ask ourselves, "Am I everything that I want my mate to be?" Do I possess or even have the potential to reciprocate the list of agenda items I have planned for my mate. Most of us have this fantasy built in our dreams and some of us even come really close, but "To Thine Ownself Be True". Are you really leading the life that the mate you are dreaming of will recognize you?
I can't speak for anyone else, but I have to check myself, and quite often I might add, about my expectations, but what am I doing to deserve all of the things I expect.
And yes, Sister girl is going to have attitude! Brothers I'm not telling you what I heard, I'm telling you what I know, If she don't have attitude at some point about something, be leary, her representative is still present and you haven't met HER yet.


Stephen Responds to Leatha:


Thanks for the comment/questions. "Good" is a relative term. What is "good" to you might not be "good" to the next Sister. There are Sisters that are getting beatdown everyday that will kill you if you say that they don't have a good man. You of course might not take any bad treatment from a man. Josiah and I consider ourselves to be good men because we practice values taught to us by our parents. Sisters have always called us good men and great catches. But, we have experienced that the values taught to us by our parents are now overlooked by most Sisters. They say they want one thing, and choose the other. Our values:

1. Respectful of women.
2. Church going.
3. No children out of wedlock.
4. Gainfully employed.
5. Never been in trouble with the law.
6. Not violent with women. Not profane.
7. Easy going, easy to talk to.
8. Affectionate, and loyal to a woman.
9. We want a family
10. We believe in being great providers.

Steve its a natural defense mechanism to insure the proliferation of the
attitudes. Its akin to the Alien's blood being acid or the Predator activating
nuclear weapon when incapacitated. That limits the attacks.


Monday, December 24, 2007

Listen......To One Another.....Niece Speaks!..

Hello, all
I'm new at this, however I have been keeping up on this blog page. My question to the men is. Do you know your rightful place? Everything that has been said sounds good. Now lets get down with the real thing. We have be taught to say the right things, look a certain way, and walk a certain way. Now when it come to living this thing we call integrity many drop the ball. I've found in life it is easy to depict my faults, however, dirt is usually done in the dark. If you want a women to have integrity, honesty, respect dignity, and love for her man bring it!. To all check yourself first, then lets have a real conversation, about what you put out their comes back at you. When I look at what I attract I look at me.


Josiah and I have dated Sisters exclusively for over 20 years. I have still been holding out with the hope that there are numerous Sisters that want to be with good Brothers and appreciate them, and provide minimal drama. He and I have always felt that there is nothing more beautiful than a Black woman. A Black woman is all we've ever wanted. After reading this last posting from Patrice's blog, I see now that they have no intention of even acknowledging that they can be difficult and demanding at times. Nowhere in this Email is it mentioned that Sisters can have attitude problems that can be very damaging to relationships. None of the points we've mentioned previously are even addressed. As we predicted, Black men are attacked yet again, and a bizarre spin is now added stating that we prefer other races. How strange! It's as though they purposely refuse to listen to what Brothers tell them we need, and then tell us that we've never had the experiences that we've had with Sisters! We have never initiated attacks against Sisters. What we are doing is simply mentioning some of their behavior that we have experienced. We are now reacting to it. It seems to be that it's even off limits to mention what they do. They can talk about our faults but, we can't mention theirs. When we do, we're "degrading" them. As Josiah has always stated, "When confronted with some of their behavior, they will lash out instead of listen. That's when they will attack your manhood." The last line of the Email is also bizarre:

"Lastly, for all black men that feel the need to choose such a negative journey to reach their utopia, I say God bless."

Okay, I haven't read the blog in a while, busy with my man drama. I'm single and truly trying to let a good man find me. I thought I had one but turned out to be a wolf in sheep clothes.

I don't blame him and I don't blame myself, it's life and it happens.

Stephen and Joe if you find happiness with someone other than black, GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

But I have a question? What makes you both a good man?

Black men preferably dodge, evade, sidestep and ignore what black women say and conveniently blame the comments of ONE on ALL. Now, perhaps other black women do not feel as I do, brothers!! By the way, this is Leatha again speaking. I, too, reiterate the other sister's question: What makes you good men? Additionally, since black women substantially outnumber black men, what is taking you so long to pluck this ONE lone woman from the many? What are your outstanding attributes that you claim to have?

Again, GOD BLESS!!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Wendy Thanks You for Your Prayers!!!!!


I've never meet you but I'm a friend of Cheech and she asked me to keep you in my prayers. I'm so happy that you are doing better.....may God continue to bless you.


This is Great News!!!

From Wendy:
It is official - no chemo. I am off to radiation and hormone therapy. Thank you
for your prayers. W


God is soooooo Good!!!!!!! What a wonderful Christmas gift!!!!!

I Love You!!!!!!



Why are always the ones that claim to be rejected by black women for the thugs, the undesirables, etcetera, etcetera. But from all indications they, black men, are deep into rejection of us. I pondered over this for a few days before I would offer any comments on the subject. And the sisters?? they are saying absolutely nothing unless in REPLY and rebuttal to black men's need to debase and degrade us in their justification of preferring a Filipino, a Brazilian, a white woman or any- and everybody that is not black, which I contend is their initial intention. It seems as though there is a need to assuage their own guilt for not desiring anyone that looks like Mama, sister, aunt, or grandmother. I constantly read all the complaining about black women; these woman are not putting down black men. It is strange to me how black men can constantly whine, fret, and complain about what black women are NOT DOING or what they lack in character, and on and on and on in their tireless lambasting of us.

For the above, I will not apologize no matter what the barrage of criticism. I unequivocally and unapologetically have voiced my most indepth feelings because I am simply livid regarding black men constantly and continuously complaining, rationalizing, justifying crossing over to wherever for whatever.

Personally, at this time I don't want to marry anybody no matter what their ethnic or racial persuasion might be, but that is not my reason for this crticial analysis. I hope I have clearly stated my reasons above. However, if I decided that I wanted to venture into matrimony again and my choice was not one from my own racial group, a black man, I would go quietly without any complaints because it would not be that I disliked or hated or distrusted black men, but that I happened to chose that particular man for my mate solely because of who he was with his particular attributes that transcend race. That is the way it should be done and all the negating, berating, degrading of black men would not enter into it. One sound reason for not indulging in all that garbage would be just in case I decided to come back home again.

Lastly, for all black men that feel the need to choose such a negative journey to reach their utopia, I say God bless.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Alright guys, You know I'm done w/ this... Good Luck With That!....

It's obvious that we both ( Men/Women) are Hurt, Angry, and somehow not understanding one another.. Cheech...

I wanted to say stop effing whining, what you think
that your the only man that cannot find a good woman or a woman
that appreciates you or a good man, what about the women that are in the same
boat as you. There are 10 men to 1 woman your chances of
finding a wife is high especially if you really do have those values (which I
doubt) You are just trying to justify going over to Brazil and the Philippines
to find a woman bc most of those women are clueless and love being some mans
trophy they can't stand up for them selves and they want some
man a black man to take care of them any how, that and if you have skills (
sexually) if you come with those qualities hell yeah you got one that will
appreciate you for whatever. I honestly think that if a man posses all those
qualities that he says he has and he is not having commitment issues himself
along with insecurity issues and so forth his ass should be would be snatched
up. I think he is on bullshit or Karma has come back to bite him, maybe he is
one who has passed up all the good women in his life not bc he was a dog but
perhaps he was to immature to figure it out and now that he has he expects that
Karmic wheel to land on his spot and a good woman should appear like poof...
Remember the movie Alfie we went to see that one year..Yeah.. Mia/Pia.....

There is a pathological psychological illness going on in our community. Our values, culture and understanding have strayed so far from that where we came from we are not living in a self sustainable lifestyle. Look at the basic roles that people live or strive to live they are not productive (except for money or pleasure). I do not have statistics but I can tell you from the men THAT I MET that 98.78 percent of the black men who are married are living in hell. They chose the wrong women (with the right intentions) who is giving them hell, refusing to do the basics of keeping a house or raising children with proper values under the guise "they work too" and interesting enough they are teaching the children indirectly how to disrespect their father (her husband) also.
These men are either a fool because they do not know it or they are a good fool because they know it but put up with it. They are either doomed because they think it is "normal" (witnessed it with their parents) or listened to peer pressure, too scared to leave thinking that is the best they can get (that is a ploy women say) or they are pussy whipped. Yeah I said it, many men are to preoccupied with a natural They are raised to believe that they have to either pay for it, chase it, and/or perform for it. Like air, water and sunshine it is necessary for life (and procreation) but it is supposed to be FREE. Many men like the women, believe that the sun rises and sets between a woman's legs. Ironically if you see some of the inscriptions in the temples in Egypt you can see that the great society placed great value on the reproductive properties of women's (and male's) genitalia. They would put a Ankh in between her legs symbolizing life. They revered and honored the reproductive act yet didn't degrade them. They knew that women bearing new life was no less astounding than any other natural miracle. Now that type of reverence is different from what women/men place on their genitalia now. Go to any club or socializing spot and see that women don the tightest pants/mini skirts, lowest tops and everything in between is either tight or revealing. They are sometimes wearing no panties shaking and gyrating their behinds on the dance floor, grinding (simulating sex) on men with saggy pants, dirty drawers, and no jobs which coincidently might eventually lead to procreation/pregnancy (before marriage) but does not fullfill the greatness nor produce future kings and queens that our fore fathers saw.
Also listening to women stories it seems that a majority of sistas either married or single are not happy with their relationship anyway. They have been socialized with unrealistic standards that will keep them perpetually chasing something that in reality isn't there. They want a rich man, model looks, with muscles with no kids, who hasn't been with too many women but can knock the boots all night and perform all the newest sex tricks and contort themselves to do things they read about in their romance (sex) novels. He has to take care of them and their 3 kids from other men and this man will cook, clean and give them massages every night when the women come home from their job only after they ran their bath water.
It is common knowledge among men that with the sistas who lack of morality that you can get more from them before marriage than most men get in marriage. These women support (emotionally and financially), cook, have children, buy them cars, do all the latest sex tricks on them, buy houses with men who refuse to marry them (and sometimes refuse to be monogamous). They are chasing a dream and the man is a dream seller. These women refuse to settle with honest, responsible, educated, intelligent, hard working men that they call lames to be with those type of men. A lame is not a sexual contortionist, he is tired sometimes and doesn't always want to go "out", he has a budget so he can retire someday and will not support their financial irresponsible decisions, he also likes to eat home cooked meals because that is what his father ate and doesn't always want rib tips, shrimp or chicken wings from carry outs. He doesn't spend more time in the mirror than her because he knows what defines a man is his character and actions (deeds) not a razor fresh fade, expensive auto, jazzy suite and imported shoes (he can't afford).
Through our bad choices among mates our children are becoming predisposed to materialism, nutritionism-slowly killing themselves with junk food ( high rates of childhood diabetes), irrational/illogical decisions that are precipatated by parents not teaching good values and them listening to and accepting Hip Hop gangsta rap/movie values which shows up in the juvenile violence/crime that is exhibitted. You can go to any affluent black neighbor hood or magnet school that doesn't have a strong religious/moral or social code and if they don't have a uniform code you will see the kids dress (and sometimes act) just like the kids in the inner city or projects. Our lines are getting blurred.

We have more choices than ever but look at the outcomes. On one hand we have more sistas in college and/or working than ever compared to men but now 70% of black babies are born into single parent households. There are a large percentage of black men in the criminal justice system and some say that number either compares or exceeds the number of black men in college. There is a segment of our women dress and act like whores. there is a growing population of our women who consider themselves straight but have homosexual intercourse.
Men are choosing to have long hair (longer and more braided than women's), to not work or be underemployed, hang out and father children they have no interest in while moving to the next woman to do the same (these women always know about the other kids he is not taking care of). These men who are "losers" normally have a woman (mom or mate) take care of everything that he should be doing himself. Rarely do decent men allow loser sons to stay home. They refuse college, trade schools or small businesses unless they are narcotics, rims, cell phones or boot leg products.
Our men pass up many opportunities for legitimate success and are turning to rapping, comedy, sports and street vices. Successful men who need a mate to compliment either choose a low life women who takes them to the cleaners or they are choosing to be single, marry white or others.
Sorry for ranting but these are just some of my jumbled thoughts, any responses?


Monday, December 17, 2007



Dang.... I miss ya!

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
Sisters are there,
no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you.
A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.
Short and very sweet:
There are more than twenty angels in this world.
Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds.
Nine are playing.
And one is reading her email at this moment.

Cheech.... Help me Undestand my Brother??????

How can I say this without coming across insensitive… Stephen & Joe, what are you really saying? Again- if you feel incline to go to Brazil/Philippines to find a mate, by all means go. However, here is where my confusion comes in. You are willing to go to Brazil/Philippines to find a mate that will do what? Have sex with you for money????? Do either of you speak Tagolog or Portuguese? Are you looking for someone to control, what is it that, you really want? Stephen, chances are,she won’t speak English, therefore what type of conversations you hope to have? You want someone that will listen? I’d like to see that - Do you really just prefer that she not speak at all? Let’s really talk about your values… Why do men go to Brazil alone? Are the women selling or giving something away? C’mon. Guys you talk about values, what type of man would freaking go to Brazil or Philippines to pick up a wife. Again I say, look at yourselves and more importantly your values. Guys listen to what you are saying………….



1. I am not looking for a mate to have sex with me for money. I always thought that mates were supposed to compliment each other and be a life partner. Who said anything about sex? If I was that hard up, there are plenty of Sisters available that will have sex for money, or for free.

2. No, I don't speak Tagolog or Portuguese. There are women there that speak English.

3. I can't speak for all men and why they do things. I'm going to broaden my horizons. You are implying that every female in Brazil and the Philippines are whores.

4. I am not looking for anyone to control.

5. You ask me what kind of Man would go to Brazil or the Philippines to pick up a wife. Well, to me this question has two possible answers. The first answer would be a man that wants to go a another country, meet women and have sex. As I've already stated, there are plenty of Sisters here to have sex with, therefore that option does not apply to my situation. The second answer would be a man that wants to meet a woman whose culture, attitude, and disposition would more readily allow her to appreciate a good man.

6. I have looked at my values. My parents taught me my values. Some of my values are:

1. Love God.

2. Love my family. Honor my wife.

3. Work hard.

4. Get a good education.

5. Treat women with respect.

6. Be a good provider.

7. Don't have children out of wedlock, be a good father.

8. Never disgrace my family.

9. Treat everyone with respect.

10. Take care of my family.

If my values are not appreciated or desired here by Sisters, then it's my responsibility to look elsewhere for a woman that wants to be treated like a woman should be treated and treat me in the same way.




Wow. Good question! I wasn't expecting that one. The answer to your question is yes. I've had many great experiences with Sisters. I've dated all types of Sisters from different backgrounds. I've dated Sisters at entry level positions, and I've dated Professional Sisters. (MDs included). I have many great memories to cherish.
During my whole adult life, I hung onto the words that my Mother taught me when I was growing up. She told me to "Always treat a woman with respect, love them, and be kind to women." That has been my attitude for the majority of my life, and then I realized that this mindset was costing me dearly. It was costing me in terms of being in situations filled with drama, grief, and being blamed for things that I didn't do. I have always felt that Black women were the most beautiful women on earth. However, Black women's attitudes/opinions can be as ugly as their appearance is beautiful.
So we as decent Blackmen are faced with a terrible dilemma. What does a Blackman raised with traditonal values do when too many Blackwomen don't appreciate those qualities? Do we keep getting overlooked for the "no good" guy and "thug"? How long do we wait for Sisters to finally actually choose what they tell you all along they want? 2 years? 5? 10? The majority of Sisters say they want a good man, but consistantly choose anything but that good man. I've gotten numerous calls this year from several Sisters that I used to date that want to "try it again". This usually means that they have gotten pregnant or abused in some way by the Thug/Loser/Married guy, and now they have awakened from their "Badboy" fantasy, and want me. Sorry, but I don't do charity work. Once you turn the Sister down, then of course you hear the Sister mantra of "There ain't no good Blackmen out here at all!"
I'm tired of having to fight Black women in attempts to treat them with love, class, dignity, and respect. All I want now is peace, I also want a family. Josiah just got from the Philipines, and I'm planning a trip to Brazil. We both have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.


Joe/ Mia is Responding to You...

First of all I suggest this book to you and your friend Steve and heck to any
other person man or woman that seems to think that they can't find a decent
the name of the book is Law of Attraction and its by Michael J. Losier, I highly
recommend the book, infact I am reading it right now myself..In that I just
say you say that you are a decent catch and you have good qualities, can you
please list your qualities so that maybe us black women that are on here can see
if infact
they are what black women are looking for. Are you even sure you know what black
women are looking for. And also list the things that you are looking for in a
black woman lets see if they match and be honest. I heard you say that you have
dated women with PHD's to GED's those making $125,000 a year to minimum wage is
what your focus is on with a woman how much she makes hey just asking bc thats
what you listed. Also I just wanted to say as well that people are attached to
outcome in relationships and alot of times it is what it is a relationship does
not mean that it has to turn out in marriage, from my experience most
relationships are for our own personal growth and if I can grow from any of my
relationships and walk away feeling ok and not bitter and still friends with
that person and can wish them well and mean
it, well that is success in its self, what do you think?

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Hello Patrice. Steve emailed a question to me-- are there any good experiences you've had ever-- with a sister??? There are many Sisters in whom I have much love and respect. All of my elementary teachers until the 6th grade were Black women who demanded excellence - they were my educational foundation. My Mom, my late Aunt Dora (who was a pioneer and example in our family in terms of education), and many of the ladies from church while I was growing up always told me to ‘go ahead’. They were nurturing, positive, and spiritual. One of the Sisters (Sister Eva Smith) would sometimes put a piece of chocolate cake (my favorite) to the side and save it for me when dinner was served at church.

But my relationships are a different story. In any relationship there is some good and some bad, but the good must outweigh the bad for it to be worth continuing. I have dated Black women exclusively for the last 20 years, but if I had the opportunity to go back to any of the SIsters that I've ever dated, I would flatly turn it down. I’ve dated an assortment of Black women – from PhD's to GED’s, those making $125,000 a year to those who were making minimum wage and I would wish all of them the best. But despite being labled a 'decent catch', I can't call any of my adult relationships a success until I am happily married. I really love Black women but I don't think many Black women like or appreciate my qualities.


Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr/Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married,
they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the #1 mistake people
make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on

Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound
truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is
the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right,
then the love will come. Let me say it again:

'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; you need a lot

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about
finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for
20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you
plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?
You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a
common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work,
you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry
someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION.2 : Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with
this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The
basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't
get 'punished' ; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and
feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with
whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally
safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION.3 : Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions:

Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious
about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always
striving to be good and do the right'; so ask about your Significant
other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?
Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is
character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal
comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before
walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the
ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person
pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or
are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this,
think about the following:

How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as
waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents
and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't
have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you
do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats
others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person
after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention
of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of
mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage
for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are
now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating
doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a
little more with your head and less with your heart.

It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure
to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in
love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your
finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't
do your homework.

Another perspective....There are some people in your life that need to
be loved from a distance....It's amazing what you can accomplish when
you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative,
incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the
relationships around you.

Pay attention.... Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones
encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth
uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people
do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't
really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality,
respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier
it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and
who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes
open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and
make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as faults isn't really that

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will
replace it.

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You
Human, Failures keep You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But only
faith keeps You Going! 'In search for me, I discovered truth. In search
for truth, I discovered love and in search for love, I discovered
faith. In faith, I have found everything.' 'Obstacles are those frightful
things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.'...Authors

'The circumstances of life, the events of life, and the people around
me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am' [Dr. Sam

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Donta, & Joe,

Donta says:

I think in most cases, black women who down black men on a regular basis are not happy with themselves. What I mean by that is, they blame men for the bad decisions they've made concerning men. Once women realize what they have between their legs, they try to use it to their advantage, then they get mad when men don't respond the way they want them too. And as far as Obama, Black women will almost never support another Sister when it seems like she is happy with her Black man, Or the decisions she's made concerning her man (good decision's in Obama's wife's case). Black women are mad at themselves because they didn't choose to find a good man for themselves, or they just are not satisfied with their black man . As if most women can be satisfied with anything anyways. Just my thought's

Josiah says:

Everyone agrees (including me) that many Black men need to be more responsible and make better choices, but you'll usually get an argument if you say that Black women need some changes too - particularly in terms of attitude. Few Black women that I have met can see how their own behavior negatively impacts relationships - they focus chiefly on what men do or don't do, and see men as the singular source of problems in Black relationships. There are many things that are beyond our individual control (economic, historical, political), but there are also a lot of things that we can control. I think we need to control our disposition, attitude, and take advantage of our educational opportunities. We can also decide to treat one another with respect.

I think we (Black men and women) need to set new criteria for relationships. My mentor used to say that 'value producing people ought to marry one another'. I hear so many stories about attractive, intelligent, gainfully employed Black women dating and getting into relationships with thugs, etc. In many cases I beleive they have overlooked decet guys and chosen to be with street guys. I have gone to conferences and even met professional Black women who were toatlly unapproachable. Many were totally arrogant; and some of those who would allow themselves to be approached would talk to me as if I was at an interview or inquisition. Then some of the same women would give me a dirty look if I had a drink with a woman of another race.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Meet Jada, My Great Niece

Jada is my great niece. While visiting her on Sunday ,she asked if I like children? I said of course, why? She then asked, why I never had children? I explained to her that I had never married and therefore; that just wasn't a wise choice for ME. God never intended for any mother to have to raise a child alone, but unfortunately, that has become the norm. What's odd is that her perception is her reality, and that at her school a vast majority of the children there, are from single family homes. Clearly, there are some things that we need to let go, but there are things we need to hold on to with everything in us. Recall the values/lessons that your Fathers, Mothers, Grandmothers, Neighbors, Aunts, & Uncles passed down and begin telling your Nieces, Nephews, Cousins,& their friends ,so that this society will never again-- define our children.


Mia Attempts to Explain to Dmaurien, her 8 year old Son.....

Hey girly, I have to comment on the Nailah situation. Dmaurien asked me last
night ma who killed Nailah Franklin? Because it has been on the
news he has heard it so many times and he is curious now as to who would kill
this pretty woman, plus he was at Church that Sunday night
when Trinity held a prayer vigil for her and her family. He said why do men kill
women like they do..I honestly could not answer him. But I think
that our generation is lost the men and the women. Women no longer look for
things in a man like stability, morals, values, how he treats his
mom and watch for how he treats women around him how good is his heart and
things like that, oh if you pay attention not even close attention
you can tell if a man is nuts or not. Listen through casual conversation the
things that he says about people and so forth. Women see things and over look
them bc oh he drives a Bentley or he has thousand and thousands in his bank
account or he is fine the sex is good yada,yada..We were given a gift that
is called a woman's intuition and we have neglected it for shallow mess. Women
need to listen to it more and maybe just maybe it will save someone's life.
I really could not tell my 8 year old son why these men are killing women that
they are suppose to be loving outside of them just being crazy but he still
would not understand that if you love someone why would you kill them like that.
I just realize that if I want to make a difference in this world being a woman
a mother of young boys who will grow up and have a wife and children is to
continue to instill in them that a man a real man does not put his hands on any
he does not call a woman out of her name before he does anything to her that is
not in a loving way how would he feel if some man does that to me. And in the
event that she provokes him to do something that he will later be sorry for to
walk away and not look back thats what a real man does. Since our generation is
lost men and women those of us that understand how this works should be teaching
the younger generation how to change things by mouth and leading by

Tommie on Nailah.......

TLW: This not a Black thing but a human thing. You can make the same argument for the white women who's husbands have killed them or they have come up missing.


That holds true as well, but you can’t ignore the fact that the younger generation somewhat glorifies that thug life. Look at the entertainment industry how they make billions of dollars off our young men and women. So yes, that is true, but I think the point the men are making is that, there truly is a preference amongst some of the younger black females. They find that lifestyle more exciting or interesting. I have some professional friends that have expressed their interest as well; it’s definitely a dilemma for the sisters. For the men, I’m sure you have nieces, daughters, cousins….. It’s our issue


Monday, December 10, 2007

What is your solution regarding the Sisters????? It's not just the sister's issue, you too will be affected by this in some way, be it your daughters

Anonymous said...
I don't know what black women are to do at this point in time.However,black women should opt to be alone before succumbing to dating males, whoever they are, whose backgrounds they have not researched. Of course that is a rather difficult, even though mandatory, approach to our unique circumstances being black in America. I reluctantly admit that our options are few.

Anonymous.. I do agree w/ you. Let me say that, being a single black woman can at times be quite difficult. Nevertheless, God has kept me in my ignorance, naivete, and foolishness. One can only pray and ask for wisdom and discernment-- for we are clearly in perilous times. We must never give up on one another--ever..


Anonymous said...Re:Nailah Franklin

And so, we are back to Square One. The dilemma of the so-called "eligible black male" causes a quagmire for the black female and sometimes she ends up like this unfortunate sister.

Sorry, but that is the truth.

I do not know why any decent, hard working, intelligent, educated women would want to be with a man who doesn't bathe, work, pay his bills, take care of his kids, or even have his own transportation. Worst yet these women allow the men to be around their vulnerable children. I have been rejected so many times from this type of women you would not want to believe that they do really have choices and alternatives.

Joseph Rowe

If people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?


Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test With which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I
have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work. . . .

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?

Nailah Franklin


Even when given a choice, it seems our people make deeply troubling choices and get into very dangerous sitations. I do not understand our choices. Why would an intelligent woman who makes good money date a jail bird with more than 20 arrests in four counties and eight convictions spanning more than a decade? This dude, (murder suspect) had a history of violence against women. I wonder what would have happened if I had approached a Sista like this. I don't know, but I bet if I had asked her out, she would have found a reason not to go out with me. The results speak for themselves....



I'm convinced that the overwhelming majority of Sisters are not interested in decent (Nice) Brothers. They say that they are, but then they go for the "bad boy". If they choose to date "bad boys", they open themselves up to receive "bad boy" behavior/treatment. Will they ever understand that? It's seems as if they can't help themselves. Sad.


Chicago man charged in woman's slaying

By Angela Rozas and Kayce Ataiyero | Tribune staff reporters
December 9, 2007

A "deeply flawed" alibi has led to the arrest of a Chicago man in the September slaying of Nailah Franklin, authorities said during a news conference today.

Police said Reginald Potts Jr., who briefly dated Franklin, is charged with murder after FBI officials placed his cell phone and Franklin's cell phone in the same location at a time he said he was not with Franklin.

Franklin's sisters reported her missing Sept. 19 and her nude body was discovered in dense woods in Calumet City eight days later. Police say Franklin was killed Sept. 18. A law-enforcement source has said she was not shot or stabbed. An autopsy in September failed to determine the cause of the death and the Cook County medical examiner's office said Saturday results are still pending.

Related links
Man charged in Franklin murder Video
The search for Nailah Franklin Photos
Police sources said Potts, 30, had been a suspect since Franklin was reported missing. The two had a heated e-mail exchange the week before she disappeared.

Witness statements to police also raised questions about his whereabouts, authorities said.

Potts, who also is charged with robbery and the theft of Franklin's vehicle, was in the County Jail serving a 100-day sentence after pleading guilty to violating an order of protection involving another woman, according to John Gorman, a spokesman for the Cook County state's attorney's office. Potts also was charged with aggravated battery for striking a sheriff's deputy and ordered held without bail.

He is scheduled for a bond hearing on the murder charge Monday.

"Reginald is presumed innocent," William P. Murphy, Potts' attorney, said Saturday. "We haven't gotten all the evidence yet. We have a long ways to go."

Franklin's sisters had taken her case to the streets and the airwaves after they reported her missing. They established a $10,000 reward and distributed fliers featuring a smiling Franklin, a former pharmaceutical representative. Friends and family talked of Franklin's starlike quality and her outgoing nature.

Franklin's family planned another news conference today to discuss the charges. Franklin's sister, Lehia Franklin Acox, said the family is 'resolute' with the news of charges.

"This is just the start of a long process," she said.

With more than 20 arrests in four counties and eight convictions spanning more than a decade, Potts has a history of threatening violence, especially against women.

In an unpublished interview with the Tribune last month, Potts said he had nothing to do with Franklin's slaying. A week before Franklin disappeared, she had complained to police that Potts was making threats against her. She filed a police report, but did not seek an order of protection, as others involved with Potts had done.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Hair care products used by African-Americans

At least two months ago WPXI contacted me to do an interview
about ingredients in hair care products used by African-Americans
possibly leading to breast cancer. I was selected because I am a
15-year breast cancer survivor. I agreed to do the interview. However at the
end of the taping I didn't know anything more about the study than before
the cameras started rolling.

Recently WAMO news anchor and New Pittsburgh Courier freelance
writer Allegra Battle did a story on this same subject and it was a
feature on the May 9, 5 p.m. KDKA news. But at the end of these
stories we still did not have a list of the products. Battle
gave me the list that didn't make her feature during a recent visit I
made to the WAMO studio's promoting the Pittsburgh Race for the Cure.
So many of my friends have seen the stories on television or read about
this issue in the paper and they want to know which products to be
concerned about.

However I wanted to give you more so I went to the Internet and
looked for articles from the Center for Environmental Oncology and
found one entitled: Why Healthy People Get Cancer: Center Examines
Environmental Suspects (update Spring 2005).

The article stated, one of immediate research priorities of the
new Center is the puzzling phenomenon of breast cancer in
African-Americans under the age of 40, who have nearly twice as much
breast cancer as do white women.

The center will work with Silent Spring Institute, a
Massachusetts based cancer institute, to identify suspect contaminants
and ingredients in hair care products and other personal products
regularly used by African-American young women and their mothers.

More recently, attention has turned to estrogenic compounds in
hair care products used by Black women as a possible explanation for
higher cancer rates in this population. I've started to carry copies
of the list in my purse but we're going to share it with you right here.
The list simply says: The following is a list of products that have
previously been found to contain hormones:

Placenta Shampoo
Queen Helene Placenta cream hair conditioner
Placenta revitalizing shampoo
Perm Repair with placenta
Proline Perm Repair with placenta
Hormone hai r food Jojoba oil
Triple action super grow
Supreme Vita-Gro
Luster's Sur Glo Hormone
B & B Super Gro
Lekair natural Super Glo
Lekair Hormone hair treatment with Vitamin E
Isoplus Hormone hair treatment wit Quinine
Fermodyl with Placenta hair conditioner
Supreme Vita-Gro with allantoin and estrogen plus
Hask Placenta Hair conditioner
Nu Skin body smoother
Nu Skin Enhancer

The majority of these products contain placental extract,
placenta, hormones or estrogen.
As early as 1983 Dr. Devra Davis (epidemiologist and director
of the Center for Environmental Oncology, part of the University of
Pittsburgh Cancer Institute) and co-researcher Leon Bradlow advanced
the theory that xenoestrogens, synthetic estrogen imitators, were a
possible cause of breast cancer.

Davis also says, 'most cases of breast cancer are not born, but
made and the more hormones a woman is exposed to in her lifetime, the
greater her risk of breast cancer.'

We need to be more cautious of the products that we use on our
hair and our bodies and demand that more information about our health
is shared. Ladies and gentlemen beware.
(Email the columnist at debbienorrell.Com.)

Thanks, Linda for the info. Below I've added a link with regard to the research. ~~BBA

Rodney King,shot on a street corner

Rodney King, whose 1991 beating by Los Angeles police led to deadly rioting the
next year, was shot on a street corner but his wounds were not believed to be
life-threatening, police said Thursday.
King sued the city over the beating and obtained a $3.8 million settlement.
However, he continued to have run-ins with the law. In 2004, he was ordered to
spend 120 days in jail and ordered into treatment after pleading guilty to
driving under the influence of the drug PCP after he lost control of his SUV in
2003 and slammed into a power pole in Rialto.
A court evidently thought Rodney was wronged back in 1991 and he got $3.8
million - more than enough to live a life of ease and comfort and never have to
see a police officer again. Yet Rodney keeps getting into trouble, bringing him
into contact with the police over and over and over. Is anyone ever going to say
"It's Rodney's fault" or "Rodney is making bad life choices"? Probably not. Why
be responsible?


Very good. But one cannot discount the possibility that the pregnant woman was involved with drugs or money. You have to look at it from all angles. Most likely there was some sort of relationship with her killer. Most "nutballs" don't kill like that. They shoot and disappear. Only a person with great anger/passion kills in that fashion, and often times to send a message to others not to cross them.

Officer Boyd

Friday, November 30, 2007

Stephen B, Mia is Responding to You....

I don't believe that there is a serial killer over there, I believe that both of
the victims knew their killers. The pregnant woman I don't believe was into
however I think that she was into doing things that would land her some
financial gain and she simply was dealing with the wrong nut ball of a person. I
do believe that
the second victim had dealings with drugs or possibly a lady of the night..I
learned through my Criminal justice study that a large percentage of victims
such as these know their attacker. What makes me feel this way about the second
lady is that I never heard anything else about her after they discovered who she
was and all that. They gave
a whole history almost on the pregnant victim. Whatever the case is those ladies
did not deserve to be burned and murdered the way they were. I live fairly close
to the
area where the second victim was killed and I am always cautious and alert when
I leave home and return no matter what time of the day it is, and I advise all
to be on the alert period, where ever you are..

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Cynthia (CJ) Maddox-Johnson

Please tune in!!!! Cynthia is a Actress here in Chicago... Some of you know her as Cyn.....

This is it! Kevin's Room will air on television this Sunday! It will be on WCIU-TV (The U) Sunday, December 2, 7:30 p.m.

A film about brothers in the life.

I am Kevin's mother.

Cynthia (CJ) Maddox-Johnson
This is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

The posting concerning the burning of Black women's bodies is not totally accurate.

I recall last week, the two young ladies murdered here in Chicago. Their bodies were in close proximity both ladies were found burned. So you believe this is Drug related?????? Thank you sweetie!

There are many folks that play pranks on the internet. These pranks come in the form of chain Emails that people forward to each other. Your posting concerning "situations going on against Black females" is false. There are several different versions of the Black women/gang initiation story going around. If Black women are being murdered on the east coast, why is the Email from a Police Officer in Houston? I have never seen gang initiation to include murder. New gang members are beaten in. Women gang members can be beaten in or sexed in.

The posting concerning the burning of Black women's bodies is not totally accurate. The bodies were found in different areas, and none of them were found in Washington park. Drug dealers occasionally murder people that owe them money. People that have stolen from them are usually murdered and then burned, as a message to others.


MG Gang
There is an e-mail going around about a Hispanic gang called MG. The e-mail describes the gang as being required to assault African-American women in the parking lots of shopping centers as a part of initiation. This e-mail is an urban legend and is not true.
Another variation of this urban legend can be viewed at, a site that specializes in urban legends.

Angela Davis lecture- "Building Activist Communities

Event Title: Angela Davis lecture- "Building Activist Communities"
Event Date: November 29, 2007
Event Time: 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM
Event Location: Cahn Auditorium, 600 Emerson Street
Event Description: Angela Davis is an activist and writer promoting women's rights and racial justice, while pursuing her career as a philosopher and teacher. She has published extensively on race, class, gender and the prison system.
Cosponsored with Peace Project, FMO, and Rainbow Alliance.

Through her activism and her scholarship over the last decades, Angela Davis has been deeply involved in our nation's quest for social justice. Her work as an educator – both at the university level and in the larger public sphere – has always emphasized the importance of building communities of struggle for economic, racial, and gender equality. Professor Davis has conducted extensive research on numerous issues related to race, gender and imprisonment. Her most recent books are Abolition Democracy and Are Prisons Obsolete? She is now completing a book on Prisons and American History. In 1998, she co-founded Critical Resistance, a national grass-roots organization working for prison abolition. Now Professor of History of Consciousness at UC Santa Cruz, Angela Davis continues to fight for social justice and develop radical approaches to effect real change.
Book Sales
The locally-owned feminist bookstore Women and Children First will be coming to campus at 5PM to sell some of Angela Davis's books, including Are Prisons Obsolete, Abolition Democracy, and Women, Race, and Class. 1914 Sheridan Rd.

Speaking Event
Angela Davis will be speaking at Cahn Auditorium (600 Emerson) at 7PM. The event is free and open to all members of the community. There will be 15 minutes for Q&A. Since the alloted time is so short, we will be handing everyone pieces of paper to write their questions, and we will select three to read. Doors open at 6:30. Tickets are available at Norris.

Book Signing
Angela will be signing the books at Cahn Auditorium after her speech.
Web Page:
Contact Info: Women's Center (Phone: 847 491-7360)
Group: Women's Center

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Importance: High
There are 2 situations going on against Black Females:

1.) Chicago - On the Southside a serial killer is out
murdering Black females and burning their bodies so they will not be
recognized. - 2 bodies were found in Washington Park both black
females and 1 was pregnant. Be Careful, Alert and stay focused on your
surroundings. This happened on the southside but this could happen
anywhere in Chicago and near suburbs.

2.) There is a new gang out called The MG. They are a
Mexican gang. They
go to Target and Wall-Mart to look for black females,
young or old.
They get into the gang by killing a black female. They
are currently
in Roundel County, Prince George & Washington D.C. There
is no
telling when they will be in this area. Therefore,
please be aware of
your surroundings when going to these locations.
Whenever possible
take a male or another female with you. This gang is
dangerous, they
do not hold out, they will not hesitate to take your
life or the life
of your loved ones.


Mrs. Dora Linscomb-King
Houston Police Department
Forensic Audio/Video Service Unit


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Nita, Help me persuade London to come Christmas 2007…

Ditto! I was just thinking over the weekend about the Christmas I spent with you and Cheryl in '99. I had so much fun, the Church service, everything, until the blizzard that kept me at the airport !!!



National Association of Black Accountants, Inc. Chicago Chapter
P.O. Box 5395 • Chicago, IL 60680 • (312) 962-1969

The Deadline has been extended until
November 30, 2007
Attire: Holiday Dress

You may send check payable to:
NABA, Inc Chicago
P.O.Box 5395 Chicago, IL 60680-5395
Tickets: $40.00/Single or $75.00/Couple

Purchased Tickets may be retrieved at
Will Call

E-mail or
call 773.962.1969 for verification

Another e-mail with PayPal Info is forthcoming!

See You There!

Mother Butler...

Hey, what a joy to hear from you, Thanksgiving was beautiful, and I am so thankful for the mercies of God. Most of my family was here, except my oldest daughter and her family, but we talked with them via LifeCam on computer, it was fun. Love you,and miss you. Ms Butler.

Che, you know I hate pictures!!!

Thanks so much for spending your holiday with us. This has been one of the best holidays I've had in a number of years. This attests to the power of friends. My circle is small but powerful. Although we don't talk daily, and may go weeks or months without communicating, the bond is strong because we always pick up where we left off. LOL


I was told very early on to cherish friendships, for they would sustain me later in life. The best advice Mom gave.

Had a blast!!!!


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Issues facing African-American Women:

Throughout the week of November 26, "NBC News With


Williams" will take a look at the issues facing

women across our nation in a new series
"African-American Women: Where They Stand." The
series will
cover a wide-range of issues from their role in

the '08

Presidential race, to the increased health-risks

that they need to be concerned about.

Monday's installment will discuss African-American

women's progress in the education field. Nearly

two-thirds of African-American undergraduates are


At black colleges, the ratio of women to men is 7

to 1. And that is leading to a disparity in the

number of African-American women who go on to own

their own
businesses. Rehema Ellis will talk to educators,

students and businesswomen about why this

disparity exists.

Tuesday, Ellis will look at relationships within

the African-American female community. Many agree

the gender disparity in education and business

African-Americans is having an effect on

relationships that African American women have. Some


say the implications could redefine "Black

family and social structure." In the past fifty

> years, the percentage of African-American women

> > between 25-54 who have never been married has

> doubled

> > from 20% to 40%. (Compared to just 16% of white

> women who have never been married today). Ellis

> > sits down with the members of a Chicagobook club

> and talk

> > about this difference and how it impacts them.

> >

> > Dr. Nancy Snyderman will discuss the increases

> risks for breast cancer for African-American women

> > on Wednesday. Mortality rates for African-American

are higher than any other racial or ethnic group

for nearly every major cause of death, including

breast cancer. Black women with breast cancer are

nearly 30%

more likely to die from it than white women.

Premenopausal black women are more than twice as

likely to get a more aggressive form of the

> disease. And, not only

> > are African-American women more likely to die from

> breast cancer, but they're less likely to get

life-saving treatments. Dr. Snyderman will profile

one of the

only oncologists in the world who specializes in

the treatment of African-American women with

breast cancer. On Thursday, Ron Allen will take

viewers to South Carolina -- the first southern

primary state -- and ask the question: Will race

trump gender or gender trump

race? In South Carolina, black women made up

nearly 30 percent of all democratic primary voters


2004. This year, polls show a significant number


undecided, torn between choosing the first

African-American or first female Presidential


Allen talks with the undecided, as well the state

directors for the Clinton and Obama campaigns, who

> happen to be African-American women.

> >

> > To close the series on Friday, Dr. Snyderman will

> raise the frightening statistic that

> > African-American women are 85% more likely to get

> diabetes, a

> > major complication for heart disease. And, like

> breast cancer, more black women die from heart

> > disease than white women. Dr. Snyderman will

> profile a leading

> > expert and a unique church-based outreach program

> in South Carolina that seeks to spread the word

> > about heart disease risks to black women

> congregants.

> >

> > Mara Schiavocampo, Digital Correspondent for

> "Nightly News," will address two hot topics in the

> > African - American community: interracial dating

> and the

> > impact of hip hop music on black women.

> Interracial dating is a growing trend in the African

> - American community. An

> poll found that 81% of participants

> approved of black women dating non- black men.

> > According to a U.S. Census Bureau report in 2000,

> 95,000 black women were

> > married to white men. In 2005, that number

> increased to 134,000. Schiavocampo will talk to

> experts

> > about the trend and discuss how this defines the

> "Black

> > family" of the future. Schiavocampo will convene a

> panel of leading black men and women from the

> > hip-hop industry for an engaging discussion on

> whether hip hop lyrics and videos

> > positively or negatively affect black women. The

> roundtable also will address how these portrayals

> > are affecting relationships between black women

> and black

> > men.

> >

> > Consumers can go online to join the discussion and

> share their thoughts on message boards. They can

> > also read and respond to blog entries at

> >


Thanks Stephen B!

Did you ever notice that when Police Kill a Black Offender it's all over the news, and the Offender is painted as an altar boy? Before 2007 is over there will be over 200 Black men killed by other Black men this year. You don't see the Black Reverends and the Sellout columnist writing about that with the same passion as when a Police Officer justifiably shoots a Black Offender. Is Sharpton or Jesse going to march for this Brother that was gunned down? I'm sure they'll be ready after the next Police shooting.

Honor Roll Student Killed
Seriously. A real one:

A University of Chicago graduate student from Senegal walking to his off-campus apartment was shot and killed overnight in what officials said was one of several violent incidents in the area.

Police increased campus patrols after Amadou Cisse, 28, was fatally shot in the chest around 1:30 a.m. on the street outside his home in the 6100 block of South Ellis Avenue, school officials said.

U. of C. President Robert Zimmer said in a statement that there were two other incidents on or near campus early this morning in addition to the fatal shooting.
This guy came from Senegal to attend high school in Oklahoma, then gets to go to the University of Chicago - one of the top universities in the world; home to more Nobel prize winners than just about anywhere. You don't get many idiots who end up at the U of C. Yes, it's in Hyde Park, home to come of the most annoying Chicagoans ever, but people who graduate from the U of C end up changing the world. This guy had just defended his doctoral dissertation on atomic oxygen erosion which is way beyond anything we have even a passing interest in.

And somewhere in a space of a few hours that included a staff member chased and shot at by someone and two women being stuck up nearby, this guy who made it all the way to a doctorate from the University of Chicago and ends up dead in our fair city.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Patrice, I wanted your help to stop Josiah, but you ignored me

I guess he just finally got tired of the all the B.S. from Sisters. He's in the philipines now meeting women that want to also meet him.


Whats up Steve. It looks like you just sent a message. It must be about 10:30pm there, here it is about 12:30 just after noon. I'm still in Cebu, but I leave for Koronodal in the morning. Its 80 degrees and I'm in sandals and a t shirt. So far Steve, my trip has been worth every nickel and I am hoping that I will enjoy Koronodal as much as Cebu. I really should have done this 10 years ago! I don't think I can do crazy women any more - I don't want to even think about 'em. Well let me get back to my fantasy... I know eventually I will have to go back to Chicago and reality. I have a lot to tell you!

Big Jo

Stephen B. I did not ignore you, we kept going on,and on about that. It's the choices. Joe has to do what works for him, and I truly wish him well. I hope the both of you find the person God has for you. Go for it Joe!


Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Show your Support!

Thanks Wendy!

Michele Obama will speak at the Idlewild Country Club 19210 Dixie Highway, Flossmoor, on Sunday, November 18, 2007 at a 3:00 reception. Donations are as follows: $25-guest, $100-supporter, Co-Chair $500 (includes 2 tickets, Chair $1,000 (includes 4 tickets) There will be a 2:00 reception for Co-Chairs and Chairs. Please , Please we need your help desperately to spread the word, especially at this late date to ensure there is a good turnout. Please instruct those who will attend to RSVP, April Harley at 312-819-2733 to reserve seating. Again Tim sends his apologies, there have been many roadblocks to this event happening. Hope to see you there. Phyllis

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Better or Verse - Youngster's Black Power Poem Upsets School Officials Young Poet

What's up Lorretta... Thanks!

A 7-year-old prodigy unleashed a firestorm when she recited a poem she wrote comparing Christopher Columbus and Charles Darwin to "pirates" and "vampires" who robbed blacks of their identities and human rights.

Hundreds of parents of Peekskill middle- and high-school students received a recorded phone message last week apologizing for little Autum Ashante's poem, titled "White Nationalism Put U in Bondage."

"Black lands taken from your hands, by vampires with no remorse," the aspiring actress and poet wrote. "They took the gold, the wisdom and all the storytellers. They took the black women, with the black man weak. Made to watch as they changed the paradigm of our village.

"Yeah white nationalism is what put you in bondage. Pirates and vampires like Columbus, Morgan and Darwin."

Autum was invited to speak at the Westchester schools on Feb. 28 by Melvin Bolden, a music teacher at the middle school who advises the high school's Black Culture Club and is a member of the Peekskill City Council.

Autum, whose résumé includes several television appearances and performances at the Apollo Theater and the African Burial Ground in Manhattan , told The Post that her poem was meant to instill pride in black students and to encourage them to steer clear of violence.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with my poem. I was trying to tell them the straight-up truth," Autum said. "I'm trying to tell them not to fight because they're killing the brothers and sisters."

Autum, who is home-schooled in Mount Vernon and speaks several languages, prefaced her performance at the high school with a Black Panthers' pledge asking black youngsters to not harm one another.

It did not sit well with parents.

In a telephone interview with The Post, Bolden said Autum has been "unofficially" banned from performing in a district school again and that school officials would review transcripts of future speakers.

"It's unfortunate, because some teachers said they wanted this little girl to explain the things she said to their students, but some parents don't want her on school grounds," Bolden said.

"[The poem] might have been a little too aggressive for what the middle-school kids are ready to handle," Bolden added.

Kimberly Greene, a mother of children in the high school and middle school, said she was shocked when she got the recorded phone message.

"If there are people who are upset about what she said, the schools should have talked about and analyzed it rather than send a message to everyone saying this little girl was offensive," Greene said.

Autum's father, Batin Ashante, said he can't believe the fuss over his daughter's poem.
"She's a little girl who does poetry about real things. She doesn't do poetry about cotton candy," Ashante said. "She's a serious little person."

White Nationalism Put U In Bondage

White nationalism is what put you in bondage

Pirate and vampires like Columbus, Morgan, and Darwin

Drank the blood of the sheep, trampled all over them with

Steel, tricks and deceit.

Nothing has changed take a look in our streets

The mis-education of she and Hegro — leaves you on your knee2grow

Black lands taken from your hands, by vampires with no remorse

They took the gold, the wisdom and all of the storytellers

They took the black women, with the black man weak

Made to watch as they changed the paradigm

Of our village

They killed the blind, they killed the lazy, they went

So far as to kill the unborn baby

Yeah White nationalism is what put you in bondage

Pirates and vampires like Columbus, Morgan, and Darwin

They drank the blood of the sheep, trampled all over them with

Steel laden feet, throw in the tricks alcohol and deceit.

Nothing has changed take a look at our streets.

Autumn's performance also included commanding white students to remain seated as she led black students in a recitation of the "Black Child's Pledge," which reads in part:

I pledge allegiance to my Black People.
I pledge to develop my mind and body to the greatest extent possible.

I will learn all that I can in order to give my best to my People in their struggle for liberation.

…I will discipline myself to direct my energies thoughtfully and constructively rather than wasting them in idle hatred…

I will train myself never to hurt or allow others to harm my Black brothers and sisters…

These principles I pledge to practice daily and to teach them to others in order to unite my People.


Thursday, November 8, 2007

National Association of Black Accountants

For Tickets,Contact Tommie Williams: 773-457-2078
There will be food and open bar.

So - What's up London... This is very nice... Thank you...

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received.. Hope it works for you -- and me!

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson !

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship..

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Do not keep this message... Friends to the End.....Cheech...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Ladies..... Please Join Me in Supporting My Sistah.. Wendy Manning.....


What a difference feminine leadership can make.

Do you every look around your spheres of influence (your self, work, home, community, black culture) and imagine things being different? Do you every wonder how you can have more of an impact? One sure fire way that I know is to lead. For me leadership means living into the definition of power getting work done. How do I get work done? What tools do I use?

Each of us knows that we have unique gifts and talents and most of us have the desire to use them. All of us need reminders of the fact of our giftedness and the commitment to use them in the service of what matters most to us.

Women, let's join together for a collective remembering of our unique gifts and the clear need for our leadership in our lives and commit to getting the work of our hearts done!

Join me, program director for the Society of Femininity in Action for a day of exploration, fun, sisterhood, recommitment, and improving our partnership with men Saturday, November 10th from 8am-7pm.

Wendy Manning

Monday, October 29, 2007

NO SEX TONIGHT! From a guy's point of view......

Good one Yokem!!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either ...

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